I really do understand the need to conduct basic research.  

Really, really, really, I do.

But.

Consider the results of this study:

"Suspects who choose to say little or nothing are seen as more likely to be guilty and less credible."

I assume that quantifying this is useful, say in the Police Academy.  But?

Then there is the research announced today of a scientist that trained canaries to sing in key on the eight note scale.

Why?

 Hasn't this guy heard of the twelve note scale?

But wait, there's more: 

"The knees are the body part most injured by dinghy sailors."

My Gray buddies from Moon Base Alpha will be at the bar in five hours.  I can hardly wait.

 

Jacomus